Charming others is one way to enact influence, but charm alone is not leadership, because it cannot stand alone. It needs to be backed by something real. The true superpower is held by those who can charm when they need to, but who can also spend the time and commit their efforts to progressing the foundational work that ensures depth and supplies fuel for the flames of charm.
This is what Susan Cain referred to as an ambivert in her New York Time's #1 Bestseller, Quiet. We often think of introversion and extroversion as being two sides of the same coin - two polarities of one continuum. But that's not quite right. Some individuals score highly on extroversion scales, but paradoxically score equally highly on measures of introversion. This is ambiversion.
What Fills Your Cup
Think about the last conference you attended. You'll see the extroverts gathered in a circle, enjoying the free wine and gesturing with their hands to anyone who will listen. You'll see the introverts in pairs (also perhaps enjoying the free wine), reservedly discussing their interests and likely wishing to be elsewhere. Is one personality type better than the other? Extroverts may get more credit, but that's simply because they are more visible. What if you could be both?
And it's not just about how garrulous or shy you are. Its about how you derive energy or how you 'fill your cup'. An ambivert can attend a party, feed off the energy of social connection, talk to anyone, up until the point where they need to change their environment. To the other extreme, an ambivert can spend solitary time writing a report, reading a novel, or reflecting in a journal, and feel refreshed and energized from those introverted pursuits. Ambiverts have the ability to switch between the two and draw their energy from both. Professor of psychology and popular author, Adam Grant, dubbed this the 'ambivert advantage'.
An ambivert is someone who excels in social situations and in solitary ones, someone who can pull energy and restore their reserves from both kinds of activities, though which activity is needed at any time may be dependent on the ambivert's current mood or if a change in scenery is needed.
Where Ambiverts Thrive In a Sea of Introverts
Some professions tend to attract more introverts than others. When introversion is the norm, ambiverts have an advantage. They can socialize and turn on the charm when needed, but they can also put their heads down and concentrate on the work that needs to be done. They have honed both their technical (hard) and their social (soft) skills. In social settings, they can engagingly talk to others about their work. This may lead to more opportunities, such as public speaking invitations so that their work (and personal brand) become widely known and talked about. More opportunities lead to promotions and career success.
Hybrid Work Environments
Hybrid work was made for ambiverts. By hybrid work, I don't mean hybrid meetings, where some employees are in the office and some are dialing in remotely. In hybrid work environments where employees work some days in the office and some days from home, a worker who can use their remote working days to independently get all their cognitively demanding work done can then spend in-office days connecting with their colleagues and clients. The real advantage is that both of these activities can revive and energize the ambivert, especially when there are opportunities to switch from one to the other once they become satiated, or more likely bored.
Ambiversion With Practice. Like most personality traits, ambiversion and each of its components may come easier to some than others. But that doesn't mean it can't be learned. With practice, everyone can make certain unenjoyable activities more routine and even come to derive energy from these over time.
Author:
Dr Melissa A. Wheeler, Senior Lecturer of Business Administration (MBA), Graduate School of Business and Law - RMIT University
Originally published at Forbes.com and reproduced here with permission from the author.
