R U OK? Day this year will be on Thursday the 14th of September. The theme for 2023 is “I’m Here, To Hear”.
Asking R U OK? is the first step, but it is important to genuinely listen to what comes after.
Tell us about a time when you were in a tough situation and someone took the time to check in on you, sit with you and just be there to listen. How did it make you feel?
Student A: At the moment I’m studying my masters, so life’s full of stressful moments. Something that has had a huge impact on me is the willingness of my friends to just sit, listen and make me feel understood and heard.
But it goes beyond understanding - it makes me feel like I belong to a community and that someone cares for me. It makes me feel like I want to do that for others.
Recently I was going through a really tough time at uni. I was really stressed and under the pump. It was just before the end of the trimester, and it felt like I had the world on my shoulders. A friend of mine sat me down - they had noticed I was getting a little bit tense. They just took the time to see how I was going and to check in on me. It made me feel really understood and heard, and as if someone really cared about me to have checked in without me needing to ask.
Student B: I think as an international student I can feel very lonely a lot of the time. My family calls me on a daily basis, which makes me feel a lot more connected and heard. Them being there to listen to how I feel gives me a lot of support as a student overseas.
Student C: Last year when I was going through a really tough situation one of my friends took the time to check up on me and call me. She told me to get ready and that she’d pick me up in 5 minutes. She took me to her favourite restaurant, and we had a really good conversation about how I was feeling.
Just her listening to me without offering any solutions made me feel like I was heard and that someone was there for me. I felt a lot calmer afterwards, it was a very special moment.
When was the last time you made someone feel heard? What did you do?
Student A: I had a really beautiful drive with my mum the other day. I was back home in Geelong, and we were out at the waterfront.
I could feel that she was stressed out - there was a lot going on for her at the time.
It didn’t feel like I needed to ask her something, but just to be there with her and to take her out on a really fun day. We went for a drive, went down to the beach and I just helped her keep her mind off things.
I was ready for if she said something, but I was really in tune with the situation and made sure I was really responsive. It felt good to know that being there with her helped, and that I could see that in her face, and how she acted throughout the day. I think we had a really good day, and it goes to show that being there with someone doesn’t always look like having a tough conversation.
Student B: I am very fortunate to be working as one of the peer workers here at RMIT. I get the opportunity to talk to a lot of new and international students who are facing a lot of different issues.
I try to talk to them one on one and make them feel heard and connected. I like to share my journey with them so that they feel more supported and so that they don’t feel like it’s weird to feel alone.
How does it feel to really listen and hear others?
Student A: It's obviously super important; it doesn’t cost a lot to have a caring conversation. I think that if we can fit that into our daily lives it’s so important. It can look like having really beautiful conversations, but also being there with someone and sitting next to them while they’re experiencing something. Kindness is something that we should all hold close to home.
Student B: At times you can feel nervous, but once you start talking to that person, it can feel really good.
Student C: It can be hard and scary, but it’s very important. Taking the time to be there and listen to someone can make a huge difference.
Story: Finn Hurley
